and it had nothing to do with my lovelife (which is going strong, thank you very much)
No, I came home from work on Valentine's Day eve in tears because I felt defeated by heart shaped butter cookies and cupcakes decorated with X's, O's and sprinkles.
My first week of work coincided with the walkup to Valentine's day which as you can all imagine is a big day at the florist, the card shop, the chocolatier and the BAKERY. Sweets for your sweet? Bah humbug! I feel like the baking curmudgeon. It's not that I don't like people in love, or expressing their love for one another (although there is some canoodling that just should NOT be done in public, folks) but the manufactured event that is valentine's day leaves me a bit cold. We were making so many of these heart shaped butter cookies, covered with red/pink/white sprinkles for days that I got very tired of the whole process. I am working at a real production bakery with a large clientele who like their sweets. We must have made at least 300 pounds of butter cookie dough that had to be scaled, mixed, chilled, rolled out, cut, sprinkled and baked off. That kind of repetitive task I find very frustrating. Had a Beatles song from the White album going round in my head to try and keep me from screaming. There was a distinct learning curve, and I got better at handling the monotony of it. However when I got home on Sunday night after 4 long days of cookies I felt beaten. I was truly afraid that I had made a very big mistake.
I can get stuck in the present and not see the forest for the trees, and I think the exhaustion of my first weeks work coupled with this silly holiday made me question the sanity of my career choice. The next day I was better and today (my Saturday) I feel strong for having gotten through the week. My co-workers tell me it gets easier, that this was a particularly tough week to start and that I am doing very well. I did nothing this week but work, sleep and eat. Looking forward to adjusting and being able to do something other than work, eat and sleep on my work days. I do unfortunately have something of a commute, which is further complicated by two of my work days being on the weekend when the trains just DO NOT run like they should, especially coming out of Brooklyn.
I figured out pretty quickly that I need to keep up my food intake. You cannot do this job running on empty, need fuel, have to keep the calories coming. Preferably not empty calories either, brought a couple of peanut butter sandwiches with me, need protein to keep the bodys fires stoked. I can lean on the caffeine crutch (imperative to get up and out of the house before(with) sunrise) some, but trying to limit the intake to two cups a day. Had some issues with waking before the alarm (HATE THAT) but I am hoping that was because I was concerned about the alarm going off at all. I can be a spaceshot and set the alarm for PM when I need AM. Once I am out of the bed I am OK, get the cup of tea, wash the face and off I go. The dog is confused but he doesn't let it bother him, he just curls up next to Don and my two boys sleep through my morning routine.
My new job is at a medium sized bakery that produces for the bakery itself, a cafe and two takeout locations, in addition to wholesale clients (which I have nothing to do with). At any given time there are 8-10 bakers working. We have 10 ovens, two 5 qt, two 20 qt and one 40 qt mixer(s). There is a sheeter in the basement. We have two walk in refrigerators upstairs and two down, one being a freezer, a full time dishwasher (human and mechanical both) and one four burner conduction range(stovetop). There are two women who do nothing but make buttercream, ice and decorate cakes. People bake all night long, I have seen one or two of them, usually I have left before they show up. I work from 7:30 am to whenever my work is done (usually 8-10 hours).
The product line includes all the bakery usuals including: scones; muffins; cookies; layer cakes; pies; brownies; crumbcakes; cobblers and crisps; bread pudding; Irish soda bread; cheesecakes; cupcakes etc. etc. We bake for people who sit at the tables in the front of the bakery, for those who grab coffee and a whatever on the way to work, for the cafe just down the block that has sit down lunches and dinners (and weekend brunches) and for the take out place over on Madison Ave. I am learning about production baking, how to scale (weigh out ingredients), mix, decant/shape 20 pounds of dough/batter and bake it off. Working on this scale is different from my previous experience. It is much more physical. We have all our flours and sugars in 50 gallon garbage cans on wheels that live under the work tables so I don't do too much heavy lifting. However carrying a full 20 qt mixing bowl over to the table to decant it's contents requires a goodly amount of upper body strength. My feet are doing ok so far (knocking on wood here), luckily I can wear sneakers. My knees get a little wonky after three 10 hour days, and my back is showing strain, am going to go to yoga tomorrow, would like to get to the point where I can do so after work (I don't know, am I crazy?).
It's work, good work, but strenous work. I am learning: tricks to make things smoother; easier on the baker; how to think three steps ahead so you maximize your time and energy; make one trip to the walk in instead of three, if you can help it. Thinking ahead includes making sure your eggs and butter and buttermilk are at room temp when it is time to make the yellow cake. I think it will all be useful at some point. Currently cannot imagine having this large a business of my own. Would want something much smaller, although the big question is how big do you need to be to make enough money to stay afloat.
I like it. I am still a little conflicted about how hard it all is. Have moments when I wonder about the sanity of this choice. Trying to take each day at a time and not project too far into the future. This is just one of many different avenues to follow in the world of baking. Everything I am doing now will have some application in the future. There is also something to be said for challenging yourself and meeting that challenge. If I can keep up this pace and work this hard I will be proud of myself. Not sure I will want to do it for the rest of my life, but that is a decision I don't need to make right now.
While Don and I were out of town we hatched this idea about living abroad for a spell. We have both wanted to do it, wrote it into our pre-nup (must have animals; must never become vegan; must live abroad for some period) and the near future is open that way. We could sell the apartment, set some money aside for a trip and go live in France for three months....then move upstate. This idea is percolating around in my head. Makes me smile.....
a bientot,
Samantha